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I'm Bummed Out is a song from Hair(Less): The Musical.

Lyrics[]

Part 1[]

If he had a fly buzzing around his nose, ears, and upper throat,
I would swat it
If he had a little spinach in his teeth that was really wedged in there and sort of wiggling when he's talking and you're wondering what it's going to do next,
I would make him aware

If he had jam between his toes after wearing socks for four days in a row,
I would take him aside and privately tell him
Don't you see there's nothing in Gloomsville I wouldn't do for him?
Even if his name was Jim

I would miss him from his skeletal toes right up to his skeletal snout
Who am I kidding?
I'm bummed out

Part 2[]

If he had a fly buzzing around his nose, ears, and upper throat,
We would swat it
And if he had spinach wedged in his teeth, even though that would be out of character and therefore, scary!
We would tell him

If he had jam in his toes after wearing socks for four days in a row,
We would uh...
Take him aside and privately tell him
Don't you see there's nothing in the world we wouldn't do for him?
Even if his name was Jim

If he... borrowed my tape 5,675 times in a row and never brought it back or brought it back with a sticky piece stuck on the roll so you couldn't peel it off!
I would use glue
If he left the toothpaste lid off for 3,522 days and it was very rusty and clogged. Yeah, we had a show to do that night. It's pretty desperate 'cause I just ate some garlic bread!
I would...use Len's tube
And if he used up my 7,655 first aid kits including all my bandages, gauzes, ointments, and spare crutches to build all miniature model Egyptian pyramids and even though it was a perfect replica, I needed the first aid stuff desperately!
I would...let it heal naturally or use aloe

Don't you see there's nothing in Gloomsville we wouldn't do for him?
Even if his name was Jim

We would miss him from his skeletal toes right up to his skeletal snout
Who are we kidding?
We're bummed out

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